Lessons

Seeing the imperfections within ourselves and attempt to go beyond ourselves to make alterations to these imperfections that will enable a journey of long term greatness. While doing so, the process of humility and acknowledgement of our shortcomings isn’t like a snap of the fingers. We need a suitable other half who is able to point it out to us and make us feel that as we are changing for the person and with the person, it is appreciated and it is embraced. In this cycle, we feel more and more ‘owned’ by the other person. If this is two ways, then unfaithfulness will never seep in. Therefore whenever we claim that our status is Attached, it really means we’re attached to someone. It’s not just a title or it’s not just a way of categorizing, it’s actually summarizing a journey and a commitment in one word. Ultimately both know that they belong to each other because they see so much of each other in themselves and when they lock eyes.

Love isn’t about a deep gaze and being lost in time, it is also about leaving that inward gaze to turn the heads and then look outwardly in the same direction together.
Sometimes people come into our lives and we know right away that they were meant to be there to serve some sort of purpose. Teach us a lesson or help figure out who we are or who we want to become or could become.

We never know who these people might be, but when we lock eyes with them, we know that every moment they will affect our lives in some profound, long lasting, spiritual way even; and sometimes things happen to us at times that may seem horrible, painful and unfair. Like as though what did I ever do to deserve this? Wasn’t I doing everything right? In reflection, we can come to realize that without overcoming these obstacles, we would have never realized our own potential strength, will power or heart’s desires.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments or true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of our character and soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved road, straight and flat. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless with no need for anyone special or a divine special friend from the heavens - the people we meet will affect our lives – so we should be in control to be affected only positively and spiritually.

Successes and downfalls that we experience can create who we are, and even the bad can be lessons learnt from everything that has happened. In fact, some events and incidences can awaken a total stranger in us. So much so that this stranger doesn’t even make us look different or slang differently as we speak. It’s so subtle that this stranger was just a dormant form of what we truly are. If someone hurts us, betrays us or breaks our heart, forgive them cause they have helped us learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whomever we open our heart to. Not to forget that they have been the key instrument to opening our heart in the first place which was previously locked up and the key thrown away.

Lastly, let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself for if you don’t believe in yourself, even God cannot intervene.

How different am I? Minus the part about viewing new cars because one arm has stabilized, a female youth-hood friend was taken aback about the changes she saw in me one night over belated birthday dinner. As though I was someone new, re-created and re-born. Aside to that, do i think that spirituality is just about Godly Churchy stuff and AMEN? That would be blind devotion. Is it about reading the bible and making more sense than just a storybook?

It’s about living a life in a different more in-tuned way with myself.

Words in the bible are just words and stories in there are just stories. They are nothing more than that unless we realize that we connect with it. That was what I came to realize. This doesn’t mean anything to people who don’t subscribe to this ‘level’ of living. To some, I believe, that all these mean nothing.

I believe that out there, someone is able to logically say that if this person, me, has tasted and felt the spiritual love from his God and there on goes on to pass that on, to people he meets or shares that with someone in a companion/relationship, not just simply in prayer but in living and in being, then how far off can that person be from being someone to another in a wholesome and god given way?

Make me a channel of your Peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow Love
Where there is injury, let me sow pardon
Where there is doubt, let me sow Faith
Where there is despair, let me give Hope
Where there is darkness, let me give Light
Where there is sadness, let me give Joy

O divine master grant that
I may not try to be comforted but to comfort
Not try to be understood but to understand
Not try to be loved but to love
Because it is in giving that we receive
It is in forgiving that we are forgiven
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Yes this is a prayer, if recited and played on repeat mode, it’ll merely be nothing more than memorizing the script. To me, that has been the meaning of life and strangely it has been my way of life very very very subtly last time, but now it is strong enough to be a way of living for the past few months which were like an eternity.

This came to me in ways people would probably go “bah humbug” so I’ll save it.
Did I choose to be like that? No. I didn’t choose. I just suddenly became like that and I don’t know how or why either.

Now, I know why I can say that the practical and emotional draws strength from the spiritual.
Now, I know why some can’t see any difference in me besides me going to church now when I left and stopped going previously.

Even if passer-bys stood in front of me for 24hours they wouldn’t be able to see a difference because there is just no difference from the outside.

Bottom-line is that everyone has different expectations, I too have my own. I know my worth and I know I’m worth it. It’s besides the point about what happened in the past, the present is what’s in front of me and the future is out there for me to create. Not to re-create but to create.

When along comes someone who sees this me and values the worth, I’ll know it and she’ll know it. She might not have to know how I came to be but it’ll be good for her to know so that she fully knows where I’m coming from. By golly, if heaven permits, maybe she’ll have a similar experience to tell to me in reply. Then, it’s not a matter of coincidence, it’s not even a matter of divine plan it’s really heightened understanding and heightened attachment because this isn’t something which two people can share in common so easily as compared to liking the same brand, the same music, same tastes in cars or food.

It’s so much more than that. It’s more than a connection of character and beliefs, it’s a connection of being and living. High expectations or not? It depends who’s being asked. Some people will just say that this is fairytale expectations or kuku thinking. Hey people did also say that it’s kuku thinking the world can be round till someone saw a ship disappearing beneath the horizon and turning back to reappear again.

It's what we choose to see and what we choose to belive in. More than just physical, mental or emotional. So much so that I'm suddenly thinking that only an angel can fit the bill.

Till that day the angel comes, I’ll settle for nothing less and I won’t be anything less.

So the horoscope did point out something which came true.

"this year the monkey will learn the intricate complexities of relationships".