Happy Anniversary

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Singapore 20 august 2008 - Today the announcement of my inaugural - first - anniversary i've ever had. Yes, it is common practice to try and weave this word 'first' into releases thinking that it'll capture the reader's eyes.

Just a year ago on the 18th, putting on paper this signature which would mark a turning point, sharing the long awaited news with someone that i just got to know better then that i'm gonna be signing the first document which will turn me into what i was striving to become.

I know many people in the past have been saying that for the colourful life i lead, i should write and upkeep a journal. For over a decade i've always been putting this habit of journal writing aside. 18 August 2007 i decided; what the heck, writing is going to be something i'm going to do daily so why not take the opportunity to upkeep a journal on myself based on a new found friendship.

What was it that made me decide that it should be based on a new found friendship? Simply i feel friends really bring us out of us. They help us know who we are and what we can be. At the sametime they remind us what we're not, so that we can really be the best we can be for ourself and for the others close to us. For this reason, i started an informal journal made of pieces of loose paper. Something to track myself, the friendship and the friend to see myself growing. Why then of all the countless people i know, to base it upon just one?

Ever walked into countless pet farms and pet shops island-wide just when you're about to take a break and suddenly you see this cute little husky pup walking out, head held low, tail between the legs and it comes up to sniff you? Later behaves all so weirdly around you like as though it knows you're here for him and you know inside that you're here for it? That the certainty within the uncertainty that makes everything all so certain. That's Fang and carrying you out of the pet shop was the happiest day of my life. Well, actually the 2nd happiest but who's counting anyway.

It's not the dog. It's the whole split second yet split eternity feeling that Hey i've been looking for you for so long.

The upkeeping of the journal was not really fully disciplined or religiously updated, the major items were captured and the minor ones recorded in my head. Then, a year back, mentally telling myself that next year in 2008 i would call up the person who told me that you've got the job you're looking for blah blah...great...blah blah...whats it about blah blah. I knew that a year later i would have alot more to share for what i would have said in 2007 would have been just the supeficial overview.

Came 2008, the excitement to call up the same person to give a sharing of the account was overwhelming because it was coupled with lots of unforeseen things. Unforeseen things like having a month long MC just before returning to work (coincidentally or incidentally or unexpectedly) at the mark of 1 year. Unforeseen things like receiving the news that i'm shifting from my former work station to a small room away from the main office.

On the part of the small room. I take it not as isolation. I take it as a prayer come true, for that was what it truly was. For the whole journey which i've yet to input here, i knew that i would find the transition back to work abit weird for i might not be comfortable playing gospel songs in the main office as not everyone is open to that and in the stillness of my heart i'd require a stillness of environment. Hence i asked for what i asked for.

Live today in prayer and tomorrow to providence.
I guess seek first the kingdom and yea, gifts will be awarded. Not given, awarded.

Though it was saddening that the circle could not be completed, in terms of the sharing of what happened, i guess this happiness is meant for me and me alone. The only thing i can be contented with is just receiving an electronic smile out of the blue which spoke a thousand words even though nothing was said about all these and the smile really made my day.

Other joys of sharing come in other forms. cheering to two humble bottles of Heinekens at the usual lunching place with exotic chinatown cuisine, receiving the message that it's an honour for the company to have the first relationship of my life with me, such things are irreplaceable and heartfelt. Small little gestures like these are worth so much more than gifts or presents. Gifts and presents are there to remind us in a physical form, but such little gestures are things we'd remember even on the death bed.

Interestingly, the way which led to everyone knowing that i've never celebrated a Valentines or a Christmas Valentine was just so spontaneous as well, just a few hours prior. Hard to believe as it might be, i've never had such an experience, perhaps for a greater reason, which i shudder to think about.

I guess in my head i've never even imagine what an anniversary might mean. Therefore i've never had one. I've always thought of it as a simple marking on the calander and nothing more. Today i felt the meaning of an anniversary, a proper and good one at that. Something built on goodness, honesty and truthfully being yourself to the others around you. Of course the times of conflict comes part and parcel which makes everything even more beautiful if you've reached this stage of appreciation.

There's much that others can share with me, as much as there is for me to share with others. And this takes courage. Courage to let the defenses down. Courage to let the spirit in us take control and allow something higher to lead the way. Courage to know that the right people we choose to allow to be there is to serve a purpose. Finding this habitat for the anniversary was something i prayed for just hoping that someone would hear. Not that i had a name in mind or a place in my line of sights, but let this first one be really something.

Really, it turned out to be something. Now, more than ever before i believe in the power of prayer. The power that it was actualise. Which just leaves one prayer unanswered.

There are just so many memories of here and now. Memories of my physical self, my emotional self, my spiritual self. Memories of other sides of me which i've never realised as well. Memories of which were real of me and precious to me which took place at the doorstep.

All these happened because there was someone listening.

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Happy Anniversary!